I found this on the internet one day. (I’m so sorry I cannot credit the source, I screenshotted it.)
I love it! It’s so this site. We love Marvel. We love rankings. This is the kind of question I could spend 45-90 minutes arguing with friends about. This article is actually not about solving the riddle presented in this juicy content ribeye. But you know, when in Rome:
Thor ($5), Blank Panther ($4), Spider-Man ($4), Vision ($1), War Machine ($1) = $15
I think there is A LOT of value in that $1 tier. Gotta get that value. I mean Bucky’s even someone I’m scouting. A row above, isn’t Scarlet Witch super powerful? Maybe I should have brought her in… Would you rather have Vision + War Machine or Vision + Scar-Witch? Tough question. Maybe love transcends?
Also, I’m sorry, before we move on, I have to acknowledge some racial concerns. I get that the $5 tier is the original Avengers, so maybe I can let this one go, but Black Panther is WAY stronger than Black Widow. Beyond that, Happy listed a tier higher than Falcon and War Machine… smh.
I posted this criticism on Twitter and someone commented that the ranking is sorted by popularity not strength. When I look at this graphic from that perspective, I’m not sure. Is that possible?
Moving on, I saw this graphic and shot it over to LA producer and friend of the site Kush Mody—who we released a two-part interview with last year—because he loves Marvel. He wrote me back with a creative, fun question that is just so indicative of how Kush thinks:
“What if it was the same setup but instead of Build Your Own Avengers Team for $15, it was Build Your Own Avengers Hang for $15.”
Oooooooeeeeeeee!!!!! Boy oh boy do I love it! I responded immediately, “Kush that has ‘new post’ written all over it” and here we are.
So the first question, what is the hang?
There are a MILLION things I’d like to do with the Avengers: play hoops, jam (wow next article, build your own Avengers band for $15…), go the beach, play N-64, go to a Black Pumas show, smoke weed and watch Spirited Away, play laser tag, battle in Settlers of Catan, hell, go apple picking. But let’s not complicate things here, let’s go with the ‘LeBron puts his head down and gets to the cup or gets fouled’ equivalent of hangs: a Summer afternoon backyard BBQ—one of life’s great joys.
To start with, when it comes to backyard Summer BBQs, my attitude is always the more the merrier. So just to get heads to the hang, I’m grabbing everyone in the $1 tier. Alright fine, Quicksilver, you’re out homie. I love War Machine’s dry wit. Falcon’s probably a first-round draft pick for your beer pong partner, Bucky’s brooding and hot, and Vision…maybe wounded soldiers are just fun persevering?
Thor feels like a lock. Fat Thor, shredded Thor, short hair Thor…bottom line, they all love to drink and are funny as hell. That takes us to $8. Sweet God of Thunder, all I want in life is to man the grill, flip burgers, drink Lone Stars, and listen to Thor tell war stories.
Alright, this is going to take a big slice out of my remaining budget, but these boys are bad and by bad I mean HILARIOUS. I’m grabbing Star-Lord ($3) and Drax ($2). We’ve seen them in Guardians, we’ve seen them in Avengers, it’s truly all-time comedic work for the genre. Plus their chemistry with our guest of honor—Thor—is Matt Damon with Clooney and Pitt in the Oceans level stuff.
I’m now at $13. No one left for me in tier 1. I could double-down on the Guardians vibe and grab Rocket? Would LOVE Bradley Cooper to come through. Does it work like that? If not, I guess I’ll pull Scarlet Witch? Yeah I know, doesn’t feel fully satisfying. But I still feel guilty I didn’t draft her in my Build Your Own Team, it unites her with Vision, she’s the only woman (god I didn’t realize how much of a sausage fest this BBQ would be until now, maybe we’ll do plus ones), and she can do magic tricks to entertain us! $15. Done.
My Build Your Own Avengers Hang: Thor, Star-Lord, Drax, Scarlet Witch, Vision, Falcon, Bucky, and War Machine. What a crew!
Alright before we close this thing out, I want to offer one possible alternative. If instead of getting the character, we can select the actor, Rocket and Captain America immediately become locks for me. Have you heard the epic stories about Chis Evans letting loose? He may not be real-life Captain America, but he is Captain Party. Check out this video of the gang confirming Evans (and Jeremy Renner) are the life of the party and how everyone else has kids and just wants to chill:
Evans is a phat $5 ticket, so we’re going to have to give up a lot to bring in our Gatsby. At this point, I’m just embracing the boy’s hang. Maybe even ditching the BBQ! Give me a cooler of beers and how about like a pontoon boat on the river? I’m taking Chris Helmsworth ($5), Chris Evans ($5), Bradley Cooper ($2), Anthony Mackie ($1), and Dave Bautista ($2), and we’re having the best day ever.
Share your team in the comments!